Before people used the term “mentor” with such regularity, there was a book that explored the relationship between an adolescent girl and her middle-aged friend and advisor. In The Finishing School, Gail Godwin shares this little bit of wisdom from the bold, worldly forty-year-old Ursula, given to her fourteen-year-old friend Justin:

“‘There are two kinds of people,’ she once decreed to me emphatically. ‘One kind, you can just tell by looking at them at what point they congealed into their final selves. It might be a very nice self, but you know you can expect no more surprises from it. Whereas, the other kind keep moving, changing. With these people, you can never say, ‘X stops here,’ or, ‘Now I know all there is to know about Y.” That doesn’t mean they’re unstable. Ah, no, far from it. They are fluid. They keep moving forward and making new trysts with life, and the motion of it keeps them young. In my opinion, they are the only people who are still alive. You must be constantly on your guard, Justin, against congealing. Don’t be lulled by your youth. Though middle age is the traditional danger point, I suspect that many a fourteen-year-old has congealed during the long history of this world. If you ever feel it coming, you must do something quickly….’ ”

I am not a fourteen-year-old, nor a forty-something for that matter; however, I find myself quite taken by Ursula’s plea that we remain fluid in life. As a result of reading this quotation, I checked on the definition of congealing. Webster’s New World defines the word congealing in this way: “thickening, or frozen.” Unfortunately, as I look around in the community of folks at my age and stage, I notice some of them appear to be both thickened and frozen. They are stuck in their ways, closed-minded, and unable to make even the slightest of modifications.  And, I hope I’m not one of them!

I may have found Gail Godwin’s call for fluidity just in time. The closer I get to my octogenarian years, the more intent I become on being open to the unfamiliar and willing to embrace the novel and the unusual. I want to keep moving forward. I want more surprises. I want to remain open to change. I want to stay alive! Although I will still anchor myself in what I have found over the years to be true and helpful, I hereby intend to be on the watch for fresh ways for me to be, as well as ways that refresh my view of the world around me.   

Actually, as a result of discovering Gail Godwin’s words, I want to make my own new trysts with life. I am rather certain that this move will keep me young.

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How about you?

What steps are you willing to take to remain fluid in your outlook, in your life?